Updated: Mar 7, 2019
Time flies when you are trying to set up a business - Nienke Appels
Can you believe it is almost one year ago Google bailed on me? I can't to be honest! Therefore I would like to share some of the emotions I have experienced over the past year. This is not a pity party by the way, I just want to share the truth. My year might have looked like it was all fun, but I've had my ups and downs I have to admit.
I'm sorry that I start with this emotion first, but it was the first thing I had to think of. I've felt so frustrated because (potential) clients withdrew (even after agreeing on my offer), frustration because I had no idea if I was going to the right direction. Financial frustration as everyone around me is making promotions, while I still need to live on a student budget. And last but not least, feeling frustrated because I have no idea when all my hard work is starting to pay off..
Anxiety, wondering if I made the right decision. Anxiety, wondering if I'm going the right direction. Feeling anxious because I don't know if I can make it to the end of the month. Anxiety, because what if I need to admit after a while that this journey is not bringing me what I was hoping for?
Shame, because I had to share I made a mistake. Well I actually had to share that I "made multiple mistakes". Telling the public that you are going a different direction (again) was not easy. Writing this down made me realizing that I might have experienced the most feelings of shame towards myself. As I have high standards, I had hoped beforehand that I would have a "full-professional-profitable-amazing" business running by now.
Don't worry, I'm not depressed, not at all! From this part on I will share more positive emotions.
I've never experienced this emotion as much as I do right now. It takes courage to wake up every morning and continue with this rollercoaster ride. It took courage from me to have meetings with "strangers". It takes courage to make investments while not knowing what the ROI will be.
I'm happy, because I'm in charge of what I'm doing on a daily basis. I'm happy because I meet incredible people all the time. I experience so much joy when I run around from one place to another, as I simply love the variety during my weeks.
This whole journey was not possible without the incredible amount of support I experienced from my friends and family! I feel blessed (even though I hate this word) that I'm surrounded by incredible people. Who believe in me when I don't believe in myself anymore. Who cheer me up when I'm down. And who are there when I want to celebrate my victories.
Last but not least, I can say that I'm so damn proud! Who would have thought, one year ago, that I would be where I am today. I gave my first talk on female leadership among amazing, successful women. I got nominated for the Distinguished Alumni Awards from my university. Proud of the fact that I've grown as a person big time. And hello: I run my own business!
I guess you can see this blog as a small glimpse in my life. Stay tuned, because a new (brand related) blog will follow soon, as I have a special announcement to make..